Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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