trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize