Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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