wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Even my vagina gasped.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
