its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
