he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
