get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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