Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the day after is always just damage control
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
