You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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