I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
