yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
