Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
