The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
