He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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