Did you just see the Batmobile???
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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