Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
