Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
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sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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