Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
