you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
