I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
