Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
