ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
