lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
