I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
