Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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