I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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