3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
nutella sex= disaster
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
