Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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