Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
