why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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