this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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