u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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