Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
