your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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