Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
