i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
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I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
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NoShamevember. You game?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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