Apparently you make a good broom.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
