At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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