Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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