Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
