Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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