Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
