New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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