yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
