we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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