The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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