I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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