Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
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Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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