I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
