i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
