It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
worst night to have a conscience
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
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Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize