bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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