Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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