Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Me too!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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