Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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