my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So vagazzling was a success
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
