my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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