I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
